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September 30, 2008

Essay Outlines and Proposals for ENG 121: *Academic Writing I*

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7 October 2008

ENG 121 Students,

See . . .

. . . below:

FROM: 29 September 2008

ENG 121 Students:

Submit your formal outlines for Essay 3, the Examples essay/Essay of Illustration in the comment box below.

For FURTHER advice on how to write an academic outline for an academic writing assignment, visit Purdue University's OWL (Online Writing Lab) and their article on the subject HERE and a nice little cheatsheet on preparing a formal outline by Donna Reiss HERE.

Indiana University in Bloomington's "Writing Tutorial Services" also has a short article on writing a good, formal outlline. Be sure you scroll down to the part of the article near the bottom with the heading "MAKING AN OUTLINE TO HAND IN." The web link is HERE.

This is due by our next class meeting, October 2nd. Don't forget that a hardcopy of your first draft of the essay is also due in class for the in-class peer-review session. Those of you who are missing the peer-review sessions (see your grades) might want to reconsider if THIS is the session you want to miss.

See you in class,

Dr. Hobbs

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25 September 2008

ENG 121 Students:

So far you have submitted proposals to me (in various places) for essays 1 and 2, the personal narrative essay and the descriptive essay. Now, we are onthe module dealing with the Examples Essay/Essay of Illustration. Per the instructions given to you in class, enter your proposal below in a, at least, four sentence paragraph stating your thesis statement (an idea based on a topic you chose from the sign-up sheet) and the three main examples you will use to prove/demonstrate/illustrate the point of your thesis.

I look forward to reading them.

Dr. Hobbs


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September 2, 2008

ENG 121 Students,

Per the instructions you received in class at our last meeting, please write a one-paragraph proposal of what you intend to write about for your narrative essay and post in on the English blog in the comment box for "Proposals for Personal Narrative Essays." Also post in on Turnitin.com. As usual, all posts will remain hidden until I release them on the next class meeting.

A hardcopy of your essay's first draft is due in class at our next meeting.

In the future, if you ever become confused about an assignment, please first utilize the 'buddy system' we set up in class on the first and second days of class meetings for any misunderstandings such as this one. Otherwise, the ultimate way to clear up a misunderstanding is to come by my office during my office hours.

In the comment box below, please cut and paste (from a word document that I expect you to have carefully crafted) your proposal for your personal narrative essay. Please watch your spelling. Please include your name in the following way (first name, last initial) so that I can identify you. Please sign your proposal with your name (see above), your class number and section number, and the date.

*As with most assignments for this course, items posted on the English-Blog, unless otherwise noted, must also be posted in the proper folder on turnitin.com in order to get credit.*


Dr. Hobbs

Posted by lhobbs at September 30, 2008 10:34 PM

Readers' Comments:

I always seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. But hold on--let me start from the beginning. You see, I am a nice woman and have always been. Even in grade school, I’d always been the one to share everything and help out and what not. So far there’s nothing wrong right? Wrong. The point I’m trying to make is that I am too nice. For as long as I can remember I have been used, mistreated and taken advantage of several times, by my fellow peers. I would have friends, buy them gifts on their birthdays, and give them Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and Easter cards. Basically I would go out of my way every time, just to show how much I loved them. But they saw my kindness as my weakness and would ask, lie, and beg to me about things they needed and such. Of course I was the gullible one who believed them and wasted money one gifts and cards, not thinking much about it at first. It wasn’t until my mother noticed that every time I brought gifts to school, I would come back empty handed. She then tried to tell me my friends were using me, and since I was young and naive I didn’t take her advice. I can tell you that I sure wish I had listened to my mother back then.

Amethyst Q.
September 1, 2008

Posted by: Amethyst Quelch at September 2, 2008 10:16 AM

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe once said “Behavior is a mirror in which every one displays his own image.” In this narrative essay I am going to explain how my reactions to situations on the golf course mirror my personal behavior. Golf is a game that can teach you life lessons which you can use everyday. How you react and grow from problems that arise, greatly affects the outcome of your round. In this essay I will inform you of a reaction on the golf course that changed the way I react from now on.

Ron Carlson

2 September 2008
English 121.14

Posted by: Ron C. at September 2, 2008 11:24 AM

For my narrative essay I will be writing about a good habit. The good habit I will be writing about is being responsible. I will write about the responsibilities of being both a student and an athlete. What it takes to be able to balance athletics while still trying to keep up with classes.

Ali L.


ENG 121

Section 14

Posted by: Ali Lamb at September 2, 2008 01:45 PM

My narrative story proposal is about my visit to Cuba. I like to write about how I was treated there. How the conditions are in Cuba. And the main reason why I was there.

Posted by: Sonia P. at September 2, 2008 04:23 PM

Christian Tejada 9/2/08

ENG 121 Sec.14

My proposal of my narative essay is going to be on

my traveling experience. I am going to talk about

my experience at Dominican Republic. I am going to

explain their way of life and comparing them to my

way of life.

Posted by: christian tejada at September 2, 2008 09:09 PM

I have chosen to write my narrative essay on my experience of traveling to Washington D.C. via greyhound. The experience I had and adventures I encountered were some of the most outrageous things I could have imagined. When I chose to embark on this journey, I had no idea that so many different events were in store for me. Writing this essay will show that this summer was something important and memorable to me.

Posted by: Cyndell S at September 2, 2008 10:17 PM

For my narrative essay, I want to write about what happened when I received my life changing spinal cord injury. I will be able to talk about what happened when I got hurt and what it was like. I will also be able to talk about all the rehabilitation I had to go through for about three months. It was long and difficult, but I was able to meet some great people along the way to help me through it. This experience was able was make me stronger for the better.

Posted by: Robert T Eng-121-CA16 at September 2, 2008 10:27 PM

Nicholas Iafrate
Professor Hobbs
ENG 121 – CA 16
My Proposal
In my narrative essay I propose to write about my struggles with scoliosis throughout high school and the surgery I had undergone my freshmen year to correct the curvature. I want to give the reader an idea of what the pain was like physically and mentally, as well as tell the story of my life before and after the surgery. I have written about this before but not to the extent that I choose to now. It was by far the one of most defining challenges in my young life and I want to share it. I feel like if I start writing and talking about it more it will encourage others to share their own challenges.

Posted by: Nicholas I at September 2, 2008 10:47 PM

This assignment doesn't make any sense!

Posted by: Olivia at September 3, 2008 10:38 AM

The day that my brother Kyle, was married, it was one of the happiest and saddest days of my life. The day was full of adventures, trials and tribulations and emotions. I had a great time spending time with family and friends. But, in the end, I felt like I lost my brother.

Posted by: Kelcee M. at September 3, 2008 01:06 PM

My narrative essay is going to be about smoking and how it is a bad habit. People have been trying for years to ban smoking and make it illegal. I feel that by doing my essay on this I will gather more knowledge about all the consequences that come from smoking and I will be able to help spread the word; smoking kills.
Zachary, W
Eng 121 Academic Writing Sec 14
Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Posted by: Zachary, W at September 3, 2008 02:29 PM

My narrative essay is about training and competing in Ironman Florida 2008. It will be a non-fiction essay with events that have happened in my life, with my training for Ironman. It will also have events that have not accorded yet because I have been unable to compete in Ironman Florida due to age restrictions but have watched the race for the past 6 years and have great knowledge of the sport.

Posted by: Drew at September 3, 2008 03:05 PM

For my narrative essay, I plan on writing about an endless quarrel/disagreement between me and my parents which goes on for several years. The quarrel has to do with my parents prolonging obsession for me to succeed in school and my unwillingness to do so. It is going to be a “show” and “tell” narrative essay as categorized in “AWR” which includes dramatization using dialogue as well as summarizing everything up using details. The narrative is also going to contain a flashback which will happen after the first main body paragraph and then work its way back up to around the same point through the chronological order of events.

Aaron O'Neill
English 121, Section 14

Posted by: Aaron O. at September 3, 2008 03:34 PM

Folarinle Fasida
Professor Hobbs
Eng-121: Academic Writing
September 2, 2008

How many freshmen does it take to get to Wal-mart? The answer is not one or two, but five strange as it seems it takes five freshmen to get to Wal-mart. Are they bad with directions or are the just new to the town of Saint Leo no one really knew, but this story will tell all. My narrative essay is going to be about how my friends and I got lost finding the local Wal-mart while talking about the road traveled on this journey.
Folarinle F.

Posted by: Folarinle Fasida at September 3, 2008 04:05 PM

For my narrative essay, I chose to write about moving. When I moved from Ohio to Florida I started my third high school in three years. I really didn’t want to restart everything over again! I was getting tired of making new friends and then leaving, I just wanted to stay in one spot. It ended up being the best thing that could have happened to me .I loved the school and stayed for a second year and graduated with some amazing friends. Florida really started to grow on me after that, it finally felt like home.

Posted by: Ashlea Z. at September 3, 2008 05:11 PM

Olivia Combs
Dr Hobbs
Eng 121.14
4 September, 2008
Back in the Day

I plan on writing my narrative essay on my favorite year in high school. Without question, most high school graduates would agree that their most memorable and missed year in high school was their senior year… as was mine. I know that I won’t be able to argue with that until I’m older and have been through most of life’s stages and gotten a lot more experience in different activities. This essay is all about “back in the day” when everything you had ever looked forward to in high school had finally become a reality, and being a senior was all that mattered.

Posted by: Olivia at September 3, 2008 05:29 PM

People think being an only child is easy. That you get anything and everything you want or ask for. Well it’s not always what you think. In my narrative essay you'll be able to see how it really is for someone who's an only child.

Catarena L
Eng 121-CA16
3 September 2008

Posted by: Catarena, L at September 3, 2008 05:49 PM

High School’s out and three college bound friends are planning a memorable trip. Little did they know it would be more memorable than they bargained for. It’d be one that they would never forget. Who knew such a great planned trip would turn into such a disaster . A story of friendship, determination, and divine intervention, watch three close friends persevere as the plan comes together and then falls apart over and over again.

Posted by: Brianna Bilbao at September 3, 2008 06:16 PM

My narrative essay will be about the influence of peer pressure and the end results of it. The peer pressure that will be mentioned in my essay is the pressure of using drugs. I believe that if read by other peers of mine, it will allow them to realize the truth in the use of drugs.

Posted by: sasha-ann jarrett at September 3, 2008 07:22 PM

I’m going to write about one of the nights I was in Paris, France. After we had dinner on the Champs-Elysees, my friend and I decided to go visit the Arc de Triomphe before we returned to the hotel. We were unaware that there was an underground tunnel that goes under the highway leading to the Arc de Triomphe so we decided the only thing we could do was run across about eight lanes of traffic at ten o’clock at night to reach our destination. Despite the fact that we risked out lives, we had a lot of fun. This is a story she and I will tell until we are old and grey.

Posted by: Susan McMillan at September 3, 2008 08:21 PM

Vanessa Bell
Dr. Hobbs
ENG 121-CA16
2 September 2008


In my paper I’m going to discuss why I started playing volleyball. Volleyball has been such a big part of my life since I was in middle school. A lot of my friends I made were on the team with me. Volleyball taught me a lot of great lessons that I can take with me off the court into everyday life.

Posted by: Vanessa Bell at September 3, 2008 08:23 PM

Allyn T.
I will Be writing a narrative essay about an endless quarrel or disagreement. My Subject of the essay will be the kids that I had to watch for a summer camp and how they always argue. Thanks for your time,
Allyn Tuff
English 121
Section 14

Posted by: Allyn Tuff at September 3, 2008 08:23 PM

My narrative essay is about my experiences working at my former job O2B Kids. It is about how it touched and changed my life and how it made me who I am today. It talks about the facility, the workers, and of course the children.

Virginia, M
ENG 121 CA16
MWF 12:30-1:20

Posted by: Virginia Marsh at September 3, 2008 08:33 PM

Trevor G.
English 121 Section 14
September 3, 2008
The most important lesson I have learned in my life is to never give up. I started playing baseball when I was five years old and for the past thirteen years I have played year round. In the summer of 2002 I was two games away from accomplishing every twelve year old baseball player’s dream of reaching the Little League World Series in Williamsport Pennsylvania. My team was smaller than the other teams and no one gave us a chance to win. We never gave up and we always believed we could win. This summer would help me accomplish many other goals in my life. Playing baseball helped me realize I can accomplish anything by never giving up.

Posted by: Trevor Gagne at September 3, 2008 08:42 PM

September 3,2008
Jacqueline Carroll
English 121 Section 16 Academic Writing 12:30-1:50

My narrative essay is about vacationing with my family in California. While we were in our room at the hotel a man landed on the balcony and broke in. He smashed open the door and pointed a gun at my parents, brother, and I. I had never been in a situation like before so it all seemed unreal. In my essay I am going to explain the details of what went on while the man was in our room and what happened after. I am a completely changed person because of this situation; it has altered my perspective on people I do not know, my view of hotels, and how safe I feel away from home. The positive and negative effects it had on my family and I will be discussed. I am a forever changed person due to this incident.

Posted by: JacquelineC at September 3, 2008 08:46 PM

Christopher C

My proposal is to write about the time I climbed a mountain in Switzerland. The event is still fresh in my mind, so I think I will be able to retell it as clearly and as interestingly as possible. I think I will be able to fit the story into two pages.

Chris C
Dr. Hobbs
ENG 121
CA 16

Posted by: Christopher C at September 3, 2008 09:38 PM

My proposal for my Narrative essay will be on a Fantasy Military Skirmish under the veil of night. I Hope to achieve a greater use of detail in this essay, making it more life like than what I have tried previously.

Posted by: Matthew Olson at September 3, 2008 10:13 PM

For my Narrative essay I intend to tell you the story of a night that changed my life forever. This night took place on the night before Christmas Eve. On this night I met my favorite thing in the world, my cat Lucy. This may sound to you to be a typical pet story, but my cat means more to me than anything in the world. She is so much more than a pet to me. She follows me around the house and is always there to cheer me up. I believe that she is truly a gift from God and after she is gone, will never be forgotten.

Posted by: Mallory M at September 3, 2008 10:52 PM

For my narrative essay I chose to write about my expieriences of being a die hard patriot fan rather opposed to just normal fans.

Posted by: Thomas Murray at September 3, 2008 11:56 PM

Narrative Essay Proposal
For my narrative essay I wish to write a paper that describes the events that lead up to the very first goal I scored in a hockey game. Hockey was a major part of my life from the time I was 5 up until the time I was a senior in high school. I feel as though writing a narrative on this topic would be one that I could write with detail and add emotion to my work. I will begin my paper with waking up the morning of the big game and then continue on with the locker room events and finish off with the actual game.

Posted by: Donna D at September 4, 2008 12:47 AM

It felt like yesterday when I arrived at my final destination for the next 9 months. It was a sink or swim situation as the dice was rolling and my near future was slowly but surely ticking away. This journey was not meant to be simplistic; it was going to test my very limits of character. Limits such as mental toughness, respect, beliefs and overall physical extremities are what characterize the amount of success an individual will achieve. When people mention the words “Boarding School”, they think of parents sending their children away because of negative behavior. When you say IMG, those 3 letters spark the imagination of those who know the program, because they know happens to people after they leave that program.

Posted by: Nick Castellano at September 4, 2008 02:11 AM

I have decided to write my narrative essay on my past of Video games and how it has affected me over the years of my youth and childhood.

Posted by: Matthew Olson at September 4, 2008 04:22 AM

The beginning of his first college lacrosse try outs were just days away. He never thought that he could ever get as nervous as he was. There were so many requirements and standards that he had to meet in order to even try out for the team. He had to run two miles in twelve minuets, and pass a weight lifting test. He prepared my body for week’s everyday lifting weights and running as much as he possibly could in order to reach his ultimate goal of making the team. When it came time for his fitness test he felt he was more prepared than anyone else in the room. His confidence and adrenaline were off the charts. He lifted everything with ease, and then ran two miles in exactly twelve minuets. The coach than told him that he was now eligible to try proceed to the next round of try outs.

Posted by: Raymond Ferrara at September 4, 2008 08:59 AM

I am going to write a story about when I was thirteen and I was sent to a residential treatment facility. I am going to highlight the fact that it taught me a lot about life, and helped to give me the tools I would need to succeed in life.

Posted by: Rebecca Rogers at September 4, 2008 11:09 AM

I propose to write for my Narrative Essay about the time i got to meet Tupac Shakur. He made a very inspirational impact on my life, making me really open my mind about the world and life. My life has been so inspiring due to his wise words.

Posted by: Dominic Hughes at September 4, 2008 11:20 AM

My narrative essay is going to be about the experience I had the first time I went hunting. I am going to tell how I fell in love with the sport of deer hunting and how it is a big part of my life today. I believe everyone should participate in something like hunting or just an activity that lets you relax and enjoy life.
Zachary, W
Eng 121 Academic Writing Sec 14
Friday, September 05, 2008

Posted by: Zachary W at September 5, 2008 01:49 PM


*NOTE* The deadline for this particular assignment has now passed. Any comments listed below are *ONLY* for the reposting of comments that I specifically asked to be revised or are ones from non-student posters. Any 'student' posts below that missed the assignment deadline will not get credit for the assignment. ~ Dr. Hobbs

Posted by: Dr. Hobbs at September 6, 2008 11:55 AM

Though necessary, government has its evils ranging from the man who is persecuted and locked up for life because of a crime he did not commit, to society’s tendency to allow the accumulation of poverty and poverty’s byproducts in certain communities, to the allowance of a person to suffer from a deadly illness because he or she does not have the money to pay for medical care. Imagine one being the loving father of a family, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and being forced to live in the confines of a small cell for twenty years as a result of a crime he did not even commit. It is also a habit of society and government to allow the flourishment of drugs, guns, violence, and homelessness in different sectors of society. In addition, it is not even out of the norm in today’s world to refuse an elderly and helpless woman medical care for a deadly disease just because she does not have the money.

Aaron O'Neill
English 121, Section 14

Posted by: Aaron O. at September 25, 2008 02:59 PM

The topic I am writing about is my parents usually being right about everything. One example would be how my parents always told me that school was more important than hanging out with friends. The second example is that my parents told me how far hard work would take me in the long run. The last example is that my parents told me how important it was to be honest and trustworthy.

Posted by: katherine lamb at September 25, 2008 07:56 PM

Folarinle Fasida
Professor Hobbs
Eng-121: Academic Writing 16

Remember your first dance and the song that was playing? The one that every time it comes on you have to sing along and the distant memory of you and your friends having a blast. Every moment in life has a song that illustrates a point, whether it is good or bad. Like when you receive your diploma at graduation or when your first love breaks your heart each has a song for that particular moment in time.

Posted by: Folarinle F. at September 25, 2008 09:27 PM

Eng 121

My illustrative essay is going to be on its better to give than receive in life. I gave a friend a good birthday and it made me feel good because she was very happy about it. When it was christmas I spoiled my family by getting them what they wanted with no hesitation. A best friend was in need for some money and I helped her out just so she would get out of debt with her bank. I feel giving is better because it makes me feel good inside and know that I have done good for someone.

Posted by: Cyndell S at September 27, 2008 11:52 AM

Florida drivers are aggressive. There are a lot of old and young people driving. One of the leading problems on the roadway is aggressive driving. People like to show off their car by speeding.

Posted by: christian tejada at September 27, 2008 07:38 PM

My proposal is about how Florida teen drivers are aggressive. The fact that teen drivers have the highest insurance rate just proves how dangerous they can be. As a matter of fact half the time you see a car swerve or hit another car, the driver happens to be 16-19 years of age. Basically teen drivers are impatient, they can’t wait and always have to be in a rush.

Amethyst Q.
ENG-121-CA16 Academic Writing 1
september 28, 2008

Posted by: Amethyst Quelch at September 29, 2008 12:07 AM

“The power to tax is not the power to destroy while this Court sits.” This quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes, shows that there is a misconception that taxation destroys peoples lives, when in reality it helps society function. Taxation in some aspects of our government can seem over the top or unnecesary, but when looking further into America's infrastructure, it is a necessity. In our next political election we will see the stances on various taxes and the outcomes of those decisions.

Posted by: Ron Carlson at September 29, 2008 11:49 AM

Life is a self-guided journey of personal choices.
One example is embracing heritage. The second example is college. Last example is attitude.

Posted by: Sonia P. at September 29, 2008 03:55 PM

My Essay will be about the thesis statement "Music Is the Soundtrack of our Lives".
First I will write about how my dad used to sing to me. Then I will write about a time when music had gotten me through a hard time. Last, I will write about how I make music, and the ways it makes me feel good.
Allyn Tuff
English 121 CA 14
September 29, 2008

Posted by: Allyn Tuff at September 29, 2008 06:19 PM

I think every passing moment is one more chance to turn it all around, and there are many ways to support that. Looking at modern media, inspirational movies have become a genre in themselves. For Example, in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness", the main character Chris Gardner goes through many circumstances that could have ultimately ruined his life. Instead of dwelling on his troubles, he focused on his son and turned his life around. Also there are many people who have chose the wrong path, but in the end they were able to rise above it and become an inspiration for everyone around them. Finally, I think people have control over their own lives, and they have the power to change it any way and any time.

Posted by: Ashlea Z. at September 29, 2008 07:10 PM

Ultimately what goes around comes back around, one will eventually get back what they give. If I am nice to someone then that person is more likely to be nice to me in return and vise versa. There are many people in this world that are strong believers in karma. It is practiced in some cultures religions on a daily basis.

Posted by: Virginia, M at September 29, 2008 07:57 PM

I am going to illustrate how giving is better than receiving. One example of why it is better to give than to receive is so one can help those who are less fortunate and in need. Another example on why it is better to give than to receive is so one can feel better about themselves. My last example one why it is better to give than to receive is it can create relationships and friendships that are irreplaceable and unbreakable. I believe that with these examples I will be able to clearly identify and illustrate why giving is better than receiving.

Zach West
eng 121 academic writing sec 14
Monday, september 29, 2008

Posted by: West, Zach at September 29, 2008 10:04 PM

Many say going to college is a must if you want to amount to anything throughout your life. If someone goes to college they have a better chance to increase their money later on in life. The college experience is good for meeting people and expanding your networking skills for your future. If one does not have the money and needs to keep up themselves. Another would be having a family to look after and support them.

Posted by: Raymond Ferrara at September 29, 2008 11:02 PM

1)"Every passing moment is one more chance to turn it all around and start again."

2) In school, my teachers would allow me to make up my missing work. I took advantage of these moments by not being lazy and doing the work to improve my grade.

3) When i got arrested, it gave me a whole new look at where i was and where i wanted to be.

4) In Life, every passing moement will be forever lost if you don't act on it.

Posted by: Thomas Murray at September 29, 2008 11:20 PM

Not all people are born with the same opportunities as others, some are born into more advantageous situations.
Women, for example are born into a so called lower class than men.
Though the Civil Rights movement is over and was successful, African- Americans are still seen as a lower class than Caucasians.
One has no choice into what country they are born, such as a third world environment.

Posted by: Mai, Kelcee M at September 29, 2008 11:36 PM

The thesis statement for my essay is "My behavior reflects my upbringing". To write this i have used the nature vs. nurture concept. I have described each in my own way as to how they affect a child's upbringing.

Posted by: sasha-ann jarrett at September 29, 2008 11:55 PM

There are some cases where one could say that ignorance is bliss. If a man chooses not to get a prostate exam or a woman not to get a mammogram, they are choosing to let nature take its course and deciding that they are happier not knowing. When someone chooses not to vote or not to get involved in the war, through enlisting or any other means, they are electing to sit by and let things play out as they feel they should rather than get involved personally.

Brianna Bilbao
English 121 Section 14
September 29th, 2008

Posted by: Brianna B. at September 30, 2008 12:01 AM

My topic is "True Liberty is an Illusion". Meaning I shall illustrate if I believe this to be true or not. My first example is going to be of a man taking justice into his own hands, including the factors of true liberty. Second example is going to invole William Golding's the Lord of the Flies and how it encompasses true liberty. And my third and final example will deal with true liberty in the modern world and if its desireable.

Posted by: Nicholas Iafrate at September 30, 2008 12:03 AM

My topic is "True Liberty is an Illusion". Meaning I shall illustrate if I believe this to be true or not. My first example is going to be of a man taking justice into his own hands, including the factors of true liberty. Second example is going to invole William Golding's the Lord of the Flies and how it encompasses true liberty. And my third and final example will deal with true liberty in the modern world and if its desireable.

Posted by: Nicholas Iafrate at September 30, 2008 12:04 AM

I believe that a person's behavior reflects how they are brought up and treated as a child. Parents play a large roll in a child's life, parents should equal the amount of dicipline and love towards their children. When kids act out of control and wild it usually gives off the impression that their parents are not in control or not paying attention. Children represent their parents. In a family everyone plays a role. A child's behavior is not always the parent's fault as some kid's become completely uncontrolable in their teen years. Children will act according to the beleifs their families have and the way their families handle themeselves.

Posted by: MalloryM at September 30, 2008 12:38 AM

For my Examples/Illustration essay I am going to write about apathy. Apathy, or lack of concern leads to do no good to arise in society. Voter apathy is not good for the government, apathy for the welfare of humankind, and apathy for our environment causes problems to arise and no good can come out of it.

Posted by: Susan McMillan at September 30, 2008 12:50 AM

I am going to tell you my proposal for my current essay on the assigned topic.

The question and/or phrase is:

Technological advances in communication and technology in general are making Americans into poorer communicators. For example many new computer programs that you can download off the internet are creating a new generation of people. Facebook and Myspace and databases as such are creating a less talkative world in the aspect of speaking to one another. Many people are becoming anti-social because of the lesser amount of contact people may have face to face.

Thank you,
Nick Castellano.

Posted by: Nick Castellano at September 30, 2008 12:52 AM

My example essay is about the statement "what goes around comes around". A word to shorten "what goes around comes around" is "karma", so I will describe what karma is.  I will be writing about how my friend Sam kept playing pranks on me like stealing my ipod, glasses, or shoes; so i got her back by stealing her bed. Last I will describe what Sam did to make want to steal her bed.

Posted by: Michael Hewlett at September 30, 2008 01:16 AM

You Get what you Give Proposal
Most people see respect as something you can either earn or lose. My paper will discuss the point that the respect you give to someone is generally equal to the respect you give. This is true for many reasons. People will only respect those who show them the same respect in return. If you show decency to others and treat them with dignity they will hopefully in return, show you the same. On the other hand, if you treat others as if theyare worth less than you or disrespect them they will do the same to you. How can someone respect you if you have no respect for them? My paper will be about what causes respect and how it can be shown.

Posted by: Donna D at September 30, 2008 01:20 AM

All people are not created equal because there are many factors in modern day society that make certain groups more powerful than others. One of these factors is money, there are no major political leaders that could be considered poor, working or middle class. Skin color sadly still plays a major role in how people look at you, when people look at Latin Americans the first thing a lot of people think is, Illegal Mexican immigrant, without knowing where they are from or what the state of their citizenship is, and when people look at middle eastern people or even Indian people, they will ignorantly think terrorist. Another factor that plays a role to how you are view in society is the people you associate with, if most your friends are rednecks even if your not, people will think of you as one purely because of the people your around. All these things play a vital role in how people view you, which affects whether you get a job, your say in what happens in a community, how people think of you, whether you get “randomly” checked at the airport, and just what people think of you.

English 121 section 14

Drew B.

30 September 2008

Posted by: Drew Bronnenberg at September 30, 2008 05:38 AM

Eng 121 14
30 September, 2008
My generation feels an unwarranted sense of entitlement and unlimited supply of rights. High school students, including myself, would commonly pull out a cell phone to talk to a friend or a parent. In many cases, the teacher would see the cell phone, and take it away, despite the fact that the students or their parents pay for the phone, not the teacher. Many years ago, when a child misbehaved in public, the parents would threaten to spank or punish their kids, but today it is known as abuse.

Posted by: Olivia Combs at September 30, 2008 08:46 AM

Jacqueline Carroll
Dr. Hobbs
English 121-16 Academic Writing 12:30-1:50
September 30, 2008

Not all students are right for college, some more than others just cannot handle being in an environment filled with distractions, loads of commitments, not ready to be away from home, or may not have the financial capability. At the university there is always something going on whether it be a sporting event, a party, or just hanging out with friends; these all can be diversions from doing ones work. Some people do not realize how many obligations come with college either, getting all class work done with no one reminding one, balancing out all ones friends, and even getting a head start on big assignments due in the future. Also, living away from home is a huge deal, buying everything oneself having a roommate, and no parents to help when something goes wrong. Financial circumstances prevent numerous high school graduates from attending a school due to the fact that the cost alone is outrageous, not including everything else that goes along with it.

Posted by: Jackie at September 30, 2008 12:01 PM

My essay is going to be about my generations sense of unwarranted deserving. The Thesis Statement is: "The generation I live in has a needy sense of absolute dserving; unwarranted and selfish." The first topic sentence is "My generation is used to getting what we want whenever we want it." The second is "It is not just from people my age that are affected by this "me generation" personality trait." The third is "The feeling of deserving has bled into the class room as well."

Posted by: Christopher Collier at September 30, 2008 12:34 PM

My topic for my essay is "Children Live What They Learn". To bring across my point i have decided to use the nature vs. nurture theory. In the introduction, i have given the theorists definition for this theory. The thesis statement for my essay originally was "My behavior reflects my upbringing, but i have changed it to say, "The idea of nature versus nurture has been around for many years, and many scientists believe that one of these theories may be responsible for our behavior and attitudes as we grow older. My second paragraph will explain how nurture influences a child's behavior by using examples such as a child raised in an environment may grow up to show that negativity being displayed around him. Another example which is used to compare behavioral traits is a big happy family in which the child grows up to be jovial.

Posted by: sasha-ann jarrett at September 30, 2008 01:57 PM

I. Introduction Paragraph
A. Thesis statement: Explanation of 3 body paragraphs
II. Example #1: Wrongly found guilty for crime
A. Topic Sentence
B. Use illustrative example to help explain
1. Capture readers attention
C. Transition Sentence
III. Example #2: Accumulation of poverty’s byproducts in society
A. Topic sentence
B. Use illustrative example to help explain
1. Capture readers attention
C. Transition Sentence
IV. Example #3: allow person to suffer because can’t afford medical care
A. Topic sentence
B. Use illustrative example to help explain
1. Capture readers attention
C. Transition sentence
V. Conclusion Paragraph
A. Briefly explain what was said in 3 body paragraphs
B. Introduce a new concept or twist
C. Sum up thoughts

Aaron O'Neill
English 121, Section 14

Posted by: Aaron O. at September 30, 2008 04:02 PM

Folarinle Fasida
Professor Hobbs
Eng-121: Academic Writing: 16

I. Introduction
A. Have a quote from a song- Vitamin C: Graduation (Friends Forever)
1. “As we go on we remember all the times we’ve had together and as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever.”
B. Explain the relationship between song and some firsts
1. Graduation: no longer little children once we receive the diploma we are now adults.
II. Thesis statement- three contents:
A. firsts that relate to songs
B. songs that relate to sadness and happiness
C. songs that relates to activities

III. Paragraph 1: First that relate to songs
A. love, dance, and breakup
1. Love: when you get your first boyfriend or girlfriend. Most people search for that one song that represents their relationship.
a. Example: Our Song- Taylor Swift

2. Dance: when you have your first boy and girl dance. There is the one song that comes on that requires the boy and girl to get to close to dance together.
b. Example: All my life- KC and Jojo

3. Breakup: when you lose the supposed love of your life. Most people cry for days and if it is your first breakup it affects you more.
c. Example: I really don’t like you-Plain White T’s

IV. Paragraph 2:Songs that relate to sadness and happiness
1. Sadness: when someone dies or it comes to a change.
a. Dies: with death there always is a song that just seems to come on that reminds you of that person the way they smell or look
Example: Missing You- P.Diddy and Faith Evans
b. Graduation: this is a time in life where change comes and some people are scared of change and with it bring tries.
Example: Unwritten- Natasha Bedingfield

2. Happiness: when some form of celebration is brought to the open.
a. Marriage: Though it is like your first love. It portrays a different form of love one that will last “forever” and as couple steps out onto the dance floor the song that they will pledge their eternal love for will play.
Example: Everything I am (Because You Loved Me)-Celine Dion
b. Family Reunion: When you get together with family members that you have not seen in a long time. The emotions of joy start to overflow and tears of happiness come out.
Example: We are Family- Sister Sledge
V. Paragraph 3: Songs relates to Activities
1. Dance Practice: When you practice there are songs that are upbeat and make you want to begin the dance practice or recital.
a. Example: Last Dance- Donna Summer
2. Sports Practice: When you practice you may run with your iPod and the music that you run with will keep on track.
b. Example: Pump It-Black Eyed Peas
VI. Conclusion: End with a quote: Green Day- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
1. “It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.”- Green Day
2. Restate the thesis:
a. Firsts that relates to song
b. songs that relate to sadness
c. activities that relate to song

Posted by: Folarinle F. at October 1, 2008 09:40 AM

Allyn Tuff
Dr. Hobbs
English 121 CA 16
October 1, 2008

I. Title-Music is the Soundtrack to our lives
A.When We write songs
B. When we feel down
C. when we feel good
A.Lyrics are the expressions of people's feelings, and what emotions go through their head as they create the masterpiece called music
B.When someone is in high spririts, they write a happy song.
C. when someone is feeling gloomy, they will make a depressing song.
III. Body
A. When I used to lie down on the coach and listen to my dad sing.
B. When music got me to church.
C. When my ex girlfriend and i broke up, i wrote a song.
IV. Conclusion
A. As everything falls apart, music keeps people together.
B. When People least expect it, it will cause an epiphany.
C. People will always need music and that will never change.

Posted by: Allyn Tuff at October 1, 2008 07:32 PM

I.I think that every passing moment is one more chance to turn it all around
A.The media is constantly producing inspirational movies that show the character fighting to achieve their goals.
1.The Pursuit of Happyness (based on a real story)
2.Chris Gardner goes through many hardships, yet he keeps persevering.
3.He fights to keep his life afloat for his son.
B.Many adults are going back to college
1.With the economy the way it is today, many people are going back to school to better themselves instead of just giving up.
2.People are juggling day jobs and going to night school or weekend classes.
C.People who have made the wrong choices in the past
1.They can become motivational speakers
2.Go around to high schools or groups spreading their story about how they changed their life around.
II.The move the Pursuit of Happyness
A.Who the movie was based on and setting
B.The different trials and tribulations that he had to go through
C.What happened at the end and how all of his hard work paid off
III.Going back to college
A.Economy is going downhill
B.People are balancing school, family, and jobs
C.How this will pay off in the end
IV.People who have gone down the wrong path
A.Example: drugs or joining a gang
B.Why they changed and if they went back to school
C.Some can become a motivational speaker
V.The Wrap up
A.How all of this proves that everything can be changed if you put the time and effort in
B.Never giving up
C.Age and time shouldn’t be a factor

Posted by: Ashlea Z. at October 1, 2008 08:51 PM

Taxation: A representation of our society
I. Introductory Paragraph
o Get readers attention
o Thesis Statement
o Taxation has been around for hundreds of years and is the basis of our society.
o Taxes are put to use in our everyday lives, whether it be to protect us physically, financially, or in our infrastructure, without it, society would and will not function.
Transition Through many examples you can see the effects which taxation has on us.
II. Example #1
• A large amount of our tax dollars go toward the U.S. Military to protect and fight for our freedom in times of need.
Transition Aging back from world war one, without a strong military we would not be the United States of America.

III. Example #2 Financially
• On this date in time we are in possibly the worst financial situation to ever come across us. The gov’t is proposing a necessary $700Billion dollar bailout plan to save us from going into a recession.
• Our tax dollars our paying for this proposal and in return it will keep our jobs and economy stable.
Transition Without taxation in this instance our society would fall apart and back into a depression state.
IV. Reason #3 Infrastructure
• It’s nice to know there are police protecting us, roads to get us where we need to go and schools to educate our kids.
• Without educated citizens we could not advance ourselves toward a better and more enjoyable life.
Transition The infrastructure that makes up the U.S. would not have been remotely possibly without tax payers doing their part.

V. Concluding Paragraph
• After looking over the examples of how our tax dollars are put to work, there is no possible way society would function on the level of which it does today or possibly at all.

Posted by: Ronnie Carlson at October 1, 2008 09:56 PM

I. Better Off Not Knowing
A. Ignorance is bliss; what you don’t know won’t hurt you

II. Men not getting prostate exams and women not getting mammograms
A. They don’t want to know if something’s wrong
B. Find out bad news, will get depressed
C. Ignorance is bliss can be seen such as

III. Choosing not to vote
A. Choosing not to get involved with politics
B. Vote won’t make a difference
C. Choosing not to know about political conflicts such as war

IV. People choosing not to enlist
A. Don’t want to see suffering
B. Fear for lives
C. Comfort of the unknown

V. When people don’t go the extra step, they opt to remain ignorant in their ways

Brianna B.
English 121 Sec. 14
October 1, 2008

Posted by: Brianna B. at October 1, 2008 11:08 PM

Michael Hewlett
English 121 Academic Writing
Karma: What Goes Around Comes Around
I. Introduction
A. I think if someone does something to someone else, whether it is good or bad, something will eventually happen to the person that did something in the first place.
B. My Examples
1. Ex girlfriend pulling pranks on me
2. Driving a friend somewhere
3. Falling asleep in class
C. Of course, karma doesn’t always occur in other situations.
II. Body (3 examples)
A. Ex girlfriend pulling pranks on me (negative)
1. Hides my ipod.
2. Hides my glasses.
3. Hides my shoes.
4. In return for her hiding my belongings I took apart her bed and put it in the lion’s den.
B. Driving a friend somewhere (positive)
1. A friend asks me for a ride.
2. In return they give me gas money, buy me food, or does something for me in the future.
C. Falling asleep in class
1. Not participating
2. Disrespectful
3. The teacher gives me a 79.9 as the final grade. A .1 away from getting a “B” in the class.
III. Conclusion
A. If someone does something to someone else, then what that person does to them in return is going to be worse.
B. Sometimes Karma can be good.
C. Karma doesn’t always occur.

Posted by: Michael Hewlett at October 1, 2008 11:46 PM

christian tejada's outline

I intro
A. thesis statement: Florida drivers are aggressive.

II Example
A. There are to many young and old drivers in Florida.

III Example
A. Young people like to show off their car by speeding.

IV Conclusion
Aggressive driving is a leading cause in accidents.

Posted by: christian tejada at October 2, 2008 12:18 AM

Virginia Marsh
Dr. Hobbs
Eng 121
Oct. 1, 2008
I. Ultimately what goes around comes back around, one will eventually get back what they give.
A. Nice to someone they will be back
B. Believers in karma
C. Cultures religions
D. I believe that if you do something bad that it will eventually come back on you
II. If I am nice to someone then that person is more likely to be nice to me in return and vise versa.
A. I hold the door for someone, someone holds the door for me
B. When you do good deeds, good deeds get done to you
C. Mean to someone they will be mean back
D. Golden rule treat others the way you would like to be treated
III. There are many people in this world that are strong believers in karma.
A. People can be crazy about karma.
B. When something bad happens to a bad person usually someone says well that’s karma.
C. I know I think it without even realizing it.
D. According to karma if you do good things then good things will happen to you.
IV. It is practiced in some cultures religions on a daily basis.
A. Budda believed it.
B. Religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism practice it
C. Although many religions may not state it, it is in the religion somewhere to be nice to others and good things will happen to you.
D. Many religions follow being nice to others will come back in a good way to you.
V. What goes around will eventually catch up to the person and they will end up getting what they give.
A. When someone is nice to someone else then that person will probably be nice to them back.
B. Many believe in karma
C. It is in many religions weather it is just stated or is put into a different context.
D. In the end do good things and good things will be done in return, do bad things and bad things will be done in return.

Posted by: Virginia, M at October 2, 2008 12:51 AM

I. Intro Paragraph
A. It is always better to give than to receive. I personally can think of three examples to explain my reasoning why giving is better than receiving.
B. There are many ways to help out in the world and many are just the little things.
II. One can help those in need and less fortunate.
A. There are many needy people out in the world that would greatly appreciate hand-me-downs.
B. A penny here and a penny there all add up. There is no such thing as gift that is too small.
III. One can feel better about themselves.
A. By giving to others, ones moral, can be greatly increased.
B. If one is having a bad day, it could be lifted by just giving to someone.
C. One can become close with whoever they have given to.
IV. It can create relationships and friendships that are unbreakable and irreplaceable.
A. Giving to others brings out that persons true self making unbreakable bonds.
B. Some people may see the person there giving to in need and fall in love with them.
C. After giving to others one may be with that person until the end. Just like I am at the end of this paper.
V. In the end there is never a fault to helping those in need by giving. One will never know who they will meet next time there out giving. One could meet a new best friend or even a spouse. After everything one will feel better about them after giving and will make the day for another person.

Posted by: West, Zach at October 2, 2008 01:30 AM

Raymond Ferrara
Dr. B. Lee Hobbs
English 121 section 14
30 Sept. 2008

I. Intro
A. Knowing that college is the right choice,
B. Society takes on college
II. Body 1
A. Create memories with friends by social skills with clubs, organizations, ect…
B. Get educated on what you would like to study, to have a chance to make more money later on in life
C. Easier to find a job with a college degree and be more qualified

III. Body 2
A. Growing into an adult quicker by expanding your knowledge and skills
B. Likely to become a leader by giving you’re self an opportunity many don’t have.
C. Playing a sport
IV. Body 3
A. Time Management
B. Work Load
C. Money Management

V. Conclusion
A. Being in college and the roles of being a college student

Posted by: Raymond Ferrara at October 2, 2008 02:44 AM

Thesis: Among the pluralist, elitist, and neo-Marxist political theories, neo-Marxism provides the most powerful analysis of the current political scene.

I. Functions of political theories
A. Tools to help understand governments
1. Categorization
2. Comparison
B. Limitation: Over-simplification
II. Three political theories
A. Neo-Marxism
1. Definition
2. Description
B. Pluralism
1. Definition
2. Description
C. Elitism
1. Definition
2. Description
III. Comparative analysis of U.S. government
A. Pluralism
1. Analysis
2. Weaknesses
B. Elitism
1. Analysis
2. Weaknesses
C. Neo-Marxism
1. Analysis
2. Critique
a. Strengths
b. Weaknesses
IV. Conclusion

Posted by: Lee Hobbs at October 2, 2008 08:06 AM

Drew Bronnenberg
English 121.14
2 October 2008
I. Introduction Paragraph
A. Thesis
1. All people are not created equal because there are many factors in modern day society that make certain groups more powerful than others.
B. Support
1. Money
a. People with money tend to seize power more easily than poorer people, and can also purchase things to make their standard of living better
2. Race
a. People view people of different race differently, because of stereotypes.
3. Religion
a. People tend to support people of their religion, therefore making the lives of the majority religion easier than others
4. Political views
a. Parties make life easier for their members than members of other parties
5. Environment
a. The environment one grows up in can provide more or less opportunities than that of other environments
II. 1st body paragraph
A. Money
1. Money equals power
a. People with money tend to seize power
b. People with money influence people in power
c. Because of people with money tend to seize power, their friends are typically other people of money and people tend to support their friends over strangers
2. Money makes your say more important
a. People with money tend to influence people with power more than poorer people
i. Because they seem more educated
ii. They tend to be friends with the politions
3. You can buy anything you want
a. Wealthy people can afford more than poor people
i. They can raise their standard of living
ii. They feel entitle to more than poorer people
4. No limits to what you can do with money
a. Money can buy anything
b. With money anything is possible
5. Money is what separates the rich from the poor
a. Wealthy people tend to isolate themselves because they feel soppier to poor people
III. 2nd body paragraph
A. Race
1. Most people follow stereotypes
a. Blacks
i. They are criminals
ii. They listen to loud rap music
iii. They cause trouble in communities
iv. They are ignorant
v. They are uneducated
vi. Most their actions are sexually motivated
vii. They are poor and live in the ghetto
b. Mexicans are illegal immigrants
i. They are poor
ii. They work jobs nobody else want
iii. They work cheap
iv. They are catholic
v. They are uneducated
vi. They are criminals
c. Whites are controlling
i. Try to seize power no matter what the cost
ii. Try to gain wealth no matter what the consequence
iii. Try to manipulate government
d. Middle eastern are terrorist
i. 9/11 high jackers were all middle eastern so they must be the same
ii. They are all Muslim extremist,
2. Minorities tend to have a harder time in life
a. Minorities can’t take the majority in anything
i. They are much to small of a number to outweigh the majority
3. Majorities suffer because of political correctness
a. Many scholarship and laws are given purely on being minorities
i. Laws require that a work place must employ a certain amount of minorities, even if they are less qualified then other applicants
ii. There are many government scholarships that are given purely on race
b. Majorities do not have the same rights as minorities
i. Because of political “correctness” majorities cannot express the same things that minorities can
ii. Majorities are called racist if their views or choices do not benefit the minorities
c. Laws demand that a percentage of workers and students must be minorities, even if others are more qualified
i. There are laws that require a certain amount of people employed at a work place must be minority
IV. 3rd body paragraph
A. Religion
1. People become offended easily if you disagree with their religion
a. If your views don’t match theirs
b. If you are of a different religion they think down on you
2. Religious fanatics make everyone look bad
a. When a religions extremist does something it make the whole religion look bad
i. 9/11
3. People are looked differently depending on their religion
a. People don’t like to be around people of other religions because of conflicts in those religions
4. People tend to help people of their religion before others
a. Give jobs to people of their religion
V. 4th body paragraph
A. Political Views
1. People treat people of other parties poorly
a. Decisions of the lead political party are meant to benefit party members, not the people
b. People “blindly” full ticket vote
c. People tend to become friends with their party members easier
VI. 5th body paragraph
A. Environment
1. Opportunities in certain areas
a. Contest in certain areas provide money
b. Learning certain skills can make you more qualified
c. Gives you relationships with people that can help you move along
2. Up bringing
a. Influences what kind of person you are and make you more qualified
b. Decides your character
i. Spoiled
ii. Assertive
iii. pacifist
3. Inheritance
a. Money given to you that you didn’t earn
i. At a young age it gives you a sense of power and feel like you don’t have to work
VII. Conclusion
A. Recap
1. 1st body paragraph
a. Money
i. Equals power
ii. Rich decide what happens in the country
iii. Raises standard of living for some
2. 2nd body paragraph
a. Race
i. Stereotypes
ii. Political correctness
3. 3rd body paragraph
a. Religion
i. Views different religions poorly
4. 4th body paragraph
a. Political views
i. Parties only support their own members
5. 5th body paragraph
a. Environment
i. Influence who you become
ii. What your skills are
iii. Who you know
6. Connection between all the paragraphs
a. These things make people unequal because…
7. Final thought for paper
a. These people while very unequal are also more equal…
i. all have many characteristics that can make them better than the people that have a better lifestyle
ii. If they desire they can succeed better in life than the people that were given a better lifestyle

Posted by: Drew Bronnenberg at October 2, 2008 08:23 AM

Olivia Combs
English 121.14
2 October, 2008
I Introduction
A thesis
1 my generation feels an unwarranted sense of entitlement
B Examples
1 High school rules and loss of first amendment rights

2 Spanking vs. child abuse
3 Driving Age
a Teens believe that once they turn fifteen, they are automatically to be taken to the DMV to get their permit.
b Once they turn sixteen, they are ‘entitled’ to their license, but it’s the parents that chooses whether or not they want their child driving.
II 1st body paragraph
2 Loss of First Amendment rights
a The freedom of speech is gone
i Students feel they can say whatever it is they want to whomever they want
b The freedom of assembly is gone
i Students are not allowed to organize a group on school property
c Cell phones being taken away
i Just because their parents pay for the phone does not mean they don’t have to give it up to a teacher who has been distracted by it
III 2nd body paragraph
A spanking vs. child abuse
1 kids do not view corporal punishment the same as in past generations
2 they believe they are above getting hit
3 some believe they deserve no punishment at all, just to be told they did wrong
IV 3rd body paragraph
A Kids want things as soon as they think they are old enough
1Kids want their permit when they turn fifteen
2 They want their license when they turn sixteen
3 They have to have their own car when they get their license
V conclusion
A review
B make connection
Kids feel entitled to things they do not necessarily deserve
C final thoughts

Posted by: Olivia Combs at October 2, 2008 09:03 AM

For my example/illustrative essay the topic is "it's bad that my generation reads less than the previous one. In my essay I plan to talk about the way technology has advanced and how it's become part of this generations life. I'm also going to talk about the old slaves, stating how they didn't have the oppurtunity to learn. And my last statement is going to be about the parents.

Posted by: Dominic Hughes at October 2, 2008 09:11 AM

This is my formal outline for my essay. My topic is:
Technological advances in communication and technology in general are making Americans into poorer communicators.

I. Introduction Paragraph
A. Thesis Statement - Technological advances such as computer programs, cell phones, text messaging, and other advances in technology have hindered the ability of many Americans to communicate with one another.
B.Explain what type of technological advances there has been made.
C. Explain what Americans are doing in their daily life that makes them less able to communicate.

II. Advances with computer programs are making Americans into lesser social people.
A. Computer programs such as Ventrilo, AIM, MSN, and other communicating services are creating this problem.
B. People spend more time on the computer.
C. Allows people to take time to think before speaking, ect.

III. Computers, Cell phones, and Pom Pilots are more advanced.
A. More versatile.
B. Addicting and Easy to do.
C. Feel no need to talk in person when they have these options.

IV. People spend too much time indoors and away from others.
A. Rather sit inside on the computer.
B. People would rather text on their cell phone rather than speaking on the phone.
C. "Crackberry".

V. Conclusion - Re-sum Ideas.
A. Many men and women of America are spending way too much time on technology and not enough time in the real world.
B. The world itself it turning into a more computerized place.
C. Online and Addicting Video games have drawn many people indoors and away from others.

Nick Castellano
Academic Writing, Section 14.

Posted by: Nick Castellano at October 2, 2008 09:26 AM

Jacqueline Carroll
Dr. Hobbs
English 121 Section 16 Academic Writing 12:30-1:50 Tuesday and Thursday
October 2, 2008
Outline for Illustrative Essay
Some Students are not fit for College
Thesis: Not all students are right for college, some more than others just cannot handle being in an environment filled with distractions, loads of commitments, not ready to be away from home, or may not have the financial capability.
I. Introduction
A. Introduction Sentence
B. Thesis
C. Examples
1. some more than others just cannot handle being in an environment filled with distractions
2. loads of commitments
3. not ready to be away from home
4. may not have the financial capability
D. Sentences to support my examples
E. Concluding Sentence
II. First Example-Distractions
A. Introduction Sentence
B. Types of distractions
1. Partying
2. No one telling you what to do
3. Ability to skip class without consequences (to an extent)
4. Friends
5. Capability to leave campus whenever
6. Sporting events
C. Wrap up
D. Conclusion Sentence
III. Second Example-commitment
A. Introduction Sentence
B. Types of commitments
1. Lots of school work
2. Balancing friends and work
3. Athletics (for some)
4. Completing work on time
5. Getting ahead on big assignments
C. Doing this on your own with no reminder
D. Closing Sentences
IV. Third Example-distance from home/being away from home
A. Introduction
B. Reasons why distance is a problem
1. No matter how far you are being away is difficult
2. Have to do everything on your own
3. No one cleans for you
4. No one cooks for you
5. No one tells you to do your work
6. Do not have parents able to be with you as much anymore
7. Have to buy everything you need on your own
8. Managing money
9. Having a roommate
C. Concluding sentences
V. Fourth Example-financial situation
A. Introduction
B. Reasons why money is a problem
1. Not everyone has parents to pay for school
2. Many students cannot balance work and a job so paying for school is too hard
3. Often people have someone else to support so they have to work full time and cannot attend classes
4. Loans are harder to get now and have high interest
5. Government does not always give financial aid to those who need it
C. wrap up
VI. Conclusion
A. Introduction sentence
B. Restate thesis in another way
C. State examples again
D. Put in a few personal sentences
E. Closing sentence/concludes all

Posted by: Jackie at October 2, 2008 09:35 AM

Amethyst Quelch
ENG-121-CA16 Academic Writing 1

I. Intro-Why are Florida teens so aggressive?
A. The fact that teen drivers in Florida have a higher insurance rate than their parents just proves how dangerous they can be.
B. Not only that, but half the time you see a car swerve or hit another car, that driver happens to be 16-19 years of age.
C. Teen drivers are impatient, and always have to be in a rush.
II. Example 1-Higher insurance
A. Teens insurance for their car is more than what their parents are paying.
B. Insurance wages are more than the average teen’s paycheck.
C. I tried getting a used car and the insurance was still expensive.
D. I don’t fully blame the insurance company because some Florida teens do get into accidents often.
III. Example 2-Half the time when there’s car accident it’s usually caused by a teen.
A. Same excuses are always given.
B. Some Florida teens seem to have no respect for the law.
IV. Example 3- Teens always seem to be in a rush and impatient
A. Act like life is a big race.
B. They know how to drive properly because they took the driver’s test with a professional.
C. They don’t seem to use their better judgment when driving.
V. Conclusion
A. I half agree with the police and car insurance policy.
B. I don’t think all should take the fall because of others.
C. A better method of testing needs to be created.
D. In the end more lives may be saved.

Posted by: Amethyst Q at October 2, 2008 09:57 AM

Ali Lamb
Prof. Hobbs
ENG 121 Section 14
October 1, 2008
I. Introduction
A. Thesis statement
B. No matter ho much I hate to admit it, my parents usually were right.
II. Example 1
A. When it came to school work I always put it off so that I could hang out with friends
B. My parents always told me that my work was more important but I never listened
III. Example 2
A. My parents always told me that the most important thing in life is honesty
IV. Example 3
A. Athletics has always been a big part of my family’s life
B. I always put athletics in front of school
C. In the end I should have listened when my parents said school work came first
V. Conclusion

Posted by: Ali Lamb at October 2, 2008 10:01 AM

I. Apathy Leads to No Good

A. Apathy in society


a. voter turnout

2. Economy

a.unaware if the state of the economy


a. litter

b.waste energy

c.don't recycle

4.Human Welfare

a. unconcern of the health of others

5. World Around Them

a. wars


c. issues, conflicts


A. Voter Apathy

1. People aren't interested

2. Don't think their voter matters

3. Don't follow the elections and debates

III. Economy

1. Believe the economy is fine

2. Unaware of economic issues

IV. Environment

1. Litter

2. Pollution

3. Energy

4. Recycling

V. Concern for others

1. Health

a. disease

2. Poor

a. homeless

VI. World

1. War

2. Weather

3. Issues

VII. Conclusion

1. Apathy leads to no good

a. Government

b. economy

c. environment

d. human welfare

e. world around us

Posted by: Susan McMillan at October 2, 2008 11:14 AM

I. A child’s behavior reflects their upbringing
a. Seeing a child in public screaming and throwing a fit gives off a bad impression
b. We almost always judge parents by the display their child gives
II. Rebelling
a. When parents are too strict the child rebels
b. Taking something away from a child makes them want it more
c. Divorce and death affect a child’s appearance and personality
III. Hollywood
a. Stars are totally a different situation
b. A lot of media children do things for more attention
c. Sometimes too much attention makes them act a certain way
IV. Media
a. Media sends out a message of what’s “in” and how to act
b. Parents can’t always be the blame for the mistakes their children make
c. A child’s behavior has a lot to do with respecting their parents
V. Conclusion
a. I agree with the statement “a child’s behavior reflects their upbringing”
b. A parent is who molds a child

Posted by: MalloryM at October 2, 2008 12:02 PM

My Generation's Needy Plight

I. Intro- The generation I live in has a needy sense of absolute deserving; unwarranted and selfish.
A.Idea of selfishness
1. Abused gifts of forefathers
II. Self-interest rightly understood
A. Being correct over others if point of view is seen.
B. Selfish and rude attitudes
1. People on thier cellphones, not having respect.
III. Older people as well as young are to blame
A. The older generation's actions are what lead up to the current state.
1.The social betrayal of the 1960s by later decades.
B. The 'why haven't I gotten it yet' complex
1. Children are spoiled and so young adults stay teenagers
IV. Feeling of deserving in the class room
A. Everyone deserves something for no work
1. Public high school passes everyone with no punishment.
V. Conclusion- The future for my generation
A. How my generation will be the professionals and workers and child bearers in the future.
B. The question is: will my generation grow up? Or will my generation continue the needy childish feelings of deserving everything for nothing.

Posted by: Chris Collier at October 2, 2008 12:04 PM

I. Introduction
A. True Liberty in the Face of Government
1. In all pursuits of happiness.
2. Is true Liberty actually attainable?
3. Thesis: No it’s the farthest thing one may obtain in this world.
II. Body Par 1
A. Can one honestly say he or she is liberated?
1. Structure rids man of true liberty…Good thing?
2. Example: Man’s liberty to self justify.
III. Body Par 2
A. True Liberty can be undesirable, in most cases it should be.
1. It’s an illusion; therefore government is a necessary evil.
B. William Golding’s Lord of the Flies
1. Boys stranded.
2. Loss of innocence due to true liberty.
3. They become animals, no longer humans.
4. Truly liberated with no thought of consequence.
IV. Body Par 3
A. World has seen liberty!
1. Nations, Governments, and Peoples have been liberated.
2. Governing body is necessary.
3. Chaos would rule in the absence of law.
V. Conclusion
A. Repeat thesis.
B. As long as people control their governments…
C. Liberty shows that true liberty is false.

Posted by: Nicholas Iafrate at October 2, 2008 12:28 PM

I. When people give more than they receive it is because it makes them feel good about themselves.
II. Giving time to friends when they need it the most.
A. My sister-in-law needed help in Washington D.C. moving from her old apartment to her new apartment.
1. I spent all day on Saturday putting things in boxes and loading the U-haul truck and then getting to the new apartment and unloading the truck and unpacking boxes.
2. Spending my time doing that instead of sight seeing Washington showed her that I am always willing to help.
B. A really close friend needed a shoulder to lean on one day.
1. It was three in the morning when she called me asking for some advice with tears in her eyes.
2. We spent three hours on the phone getting her to relax and calm down.
III. Doing community service to help peopl in need.
A. Little kids love being taught new games and being taken care of.
1. Every weekend for two months I went out to a recreational park.
2. I taught kids how to play football and baseball, also how to treat everyone equally.
B. The state fairgrounds got slammed during fair time.
1. When I had the opportunity I went out there to help a bakery.
2. Serving customers many different desserts and able to keep them happy and the line moving quickly.
IV. Everybody around the world always needs donations.
A. There are people in the hospital that need a blood transfusion.
1. When blood drives come around I always donate because giving blood could save a kid or an adult life.
2. Knowing I could be saving people's live makes me feel good about myself.
B. Kids aren't as lucky as we are in florida, even the United States.
1. I rummage through my closet to find toys not needed anymore that are in good condition to drop off at the toy drives.
2. Knowing that kids don't get to enjoy Christmas or even their birthday like we do, sending them toys makes my heart smile knowing it is going to bring joy to the kids life.
V. Life for me is about giving more than receiving. Giving times to friends when they need it the most, doing community service to help people in need and everybody around the world always needs donations. Giving more than receiving makes me feel good about themselves and makes us look like better people.

Posted by: Cyndell S at October 2, 2008 12:40 PM


*NOTE* The deadline for this particular assignment has now passed. Any comments listed below are *ONLY* for the reposting of comments that I specifically asked to be revised or are ones from non-student posters. Any 'student' posts below that missed the assignment deadline will not get credit for the assignment. ~ Dr. Hobbs

Posted by: Dr. Hobbs at October 2, 2008 10:57 PM

Revision of my outline
Title:Driving Aggression and Danger

I intro
A. thesis: Aggressive and dangerous driving is increasingly becoming a problem.

II Topic: Technology
A. Ex. The new technology of cars makes people feel fearless driving them.

III Topic: Distractions
A. Ex. Eating and talking on the phone.

IV Topic: Intoxication
A. road rage, impatientness

V Conclusion
A. Aggressive driving is dangerous.

Posted by: christian tejada at October 4, 2008 07:46 PM

Government is a Necessary Evil
The government is necessary to maintain and protect the society and country, but it can be an evil nuisance on the same society and country it’s trying to protect. The government tries to make laws to protect people, but some laws can be too strict for the most minor things. The government tries to make nice with other countries to promote trade, but they should not be spreading democracy to every country in the world. Finally the government says that everything they do outside of the country is for the better of the nation, but the government seems to focus on what other nations our doing and not focusing enough on our nation’s many problems like the homeless, outsourcing, and alternative fuels.

I. Introduction
A. The government’s main duty
B. Who does the government protect
1. Who do they protect
2. What do they Protect
C. How does the government protect
1. What do they use to protect with
D. Thesis
II. Government Overprotective Laws
A. Example: Scooter laws
B. Punishment to
1. Example
C. Example: Patriot Act
1. What the Patriot Act do
III. Government Promoting Democracy to Other Nations
A. Example: Bush’s visit to China
B. Bush’s leeway
1. China needs the U.S.
2. U.S. needs China
C. U.S. Debt
IV. Government Forcing Democracy
A. Saddam over thrown
1. WMD
2. Evidence
B. Cost of Iraq War
C. Funding to solve problems in the U.S.
V. Conclusion
A. Thesis
B. Ironic
C. Peace for all

Posted by: Robert T at October 5, 2008 04:30 PM

Vanessa Bell Bell 1
ENG 121 CA16
Dr. Hobbs
1 October 2008
No Cats Allowed!
I. Introduction
A. Thesis- Dogs are better pets than cats.
1) Dogs love to greet their owners.
2) Dogs wag their tails and are energetic.
3) Dogs love attention.
II. Second paragraph-Dogs love to greet their owners.
A. Cats are lazy and don’t want to be bothered whereas dogs are at the door waiting.
B. Dogs love to wait by the door until their owner gets home, cats could care less.
C. Dogs are happy to see their owner when they get home, cats don’t know when your there or gone.
III. Third paragraph- Dogs are energetic.
A. Dogs want to go out and run around, cats like to be in their own space.
B. Dogs like to play Frisbee; cats like to lick themselves.
Bell 2
C. If you bother your cat he’ll hiss and scratch you, a dog just love being around humans.
IV. Fourth paragraph- Dogs love attention.
A. Dogs want to be pampered and played with.
B. Cats prefer to be alone.
C. Dogs like to sleep in their owners’ room
D. Cats would rather sleep outside.
V. Conclusion
A. Dogs are way better than cats.
1) They love attention.
2) They wag their tails and are energetic
3) Dogs love to greet their masters.
B. Cats are not like dogs.
1) Cats like to be left alone.
2) Cats don’t like to be touched or bothered.
3) Cats don’t like to be outside.

Posted by: vanessa bell at October 6, 2008 08:15 PM

Kelcee Mai
Dr. B. Lee Hobbs
Academic Writing English 121 Sect. 16
02 October, 2008

Equality in Human Society
• Introduction
- Not all people are created equal, some are born into more equal situations than others.
 American women compared to American men
 White Americans compared to colored Americans
 Third world citizens compared to American citizens
• American Men compared to American women
- Work force
 Salaries
 Promotions
- Society
 Family Life
 Men are “supposed” to make money
• White people in America compared to minorities in America
- Civil Rights movement
- Stigma with skin color
- Racial discrimination
• Third world citizens compared with American citizens
- Sudan
 Schooling
 Basic needs (food, water)
- Cannot control the environment to which one is born
• Conclusion
- Define equality
- Men vs. Women
- Skin Color
- Third world country
- All people are not created equal, some are born more equal than others

Posted by: Mai, Kelcee M at October 7, 2008 11:31 AM

In my expository essay I will explain/inform my audience the likely consequences of not taking college seriously. There are many consequences if students don’t take college seriously. For instance it would be a waste of time and money. If you don’t take it serious you can fail so you pay thousands of dollars for a class that you will just flunk out of.

Catarena L
English 121- CA16
9 October 2008

Posted by: Catarena L. at October 9, 2008 11:07 AM

I. Introduction Paragraph – introduce topic of pass/fail policy
A. Thesis – Not only would the adoption of a pass/fail grading system in the United States of America be exceptionally unintellectual, put blatantly, it would be stupid. There would be a massive conformation in both the citizens and almost all aspects of the working world, this in turn would create a nation of instability, and the United States would become increasingly exposed to the threats of other nations while its own status as a world superpower would drop.
II. Everything will conform
A. College rankings will even out
B. Everyone will be eligible for positions
C. Explain well because needed for second point
III. Society more unstable
A. People not reaching full potential
B. Given jobs not capable of
C. This creates problems
IV. Weakening of nation
A. Status as world power will sink
B. Expose nation to foreign threats
C. Advancements in nation such as technology will slow
V. Conclusion Paragraph
A. Sum up all 3 examples in a couple of sentences
B. Introduce a new and ending thought to close with

Aaron O.
English 121, Section 14

Posted by: Aaron O'Neill at October 9, 2008 04:18 PM

The topic of my expository essay is Why do i admire this particular person. The person i've choosen to explain why i admire is Dr. Martin Luther King jr. There are various reasons this man is an inspiration to everyone but my reasons i admire this great man so much is because he helped change america into a united country between coloreds and whites. As well as set the standards of making your dreams come true. that everything is possible if you believe and never give up the race. And my last statement i'm going to be talking about is the way he is, in my eyes, the epitome of a real man.

Posted by: Dominic Hughes at October 10, 2008 01:34 PM

Folarinle Fasida
Professor Hobbs
Eng-121: Academic Writing: 16

Expository Essay: Explain/Inform your Audience the likely consequences of failing college.
Revised Topic: Who does failing college truly affect?

Thesis Statement: College is an expensive thing that people take for granted. The price for this wonderful experience is not getting any cheaper so when failing a class people may have the attitude of that it not going to affect me. It does when failing a class in college the parents, the government and the student are being affected.

I. Introduction
A. Talk about the price in with the information on loans and government funding.
1. The cost of college as the years go on it gets more expensive. With it comes more funding from the government, but will the government funding always be there to help fund for education or must people work hard as well to work for education.
II. Thesis:
III. First Paragraph
A. Parents: the backbone in a child’s education. They are the ones that lead the children to a better future.
a. Give examples: start off talking about birth and how the parents shape the mind of a child, and then start talking about education, and how it helps motivate a child for college.
IV. Second Paragraph
A. Government: Scholarships, Funding, and Loans
a. Scholarships: the government allows companies to support children who plant to further their education.
b. Funding: are given to the children to help them and their parents pay for college. So they don’t have to worry about it.
c. Loans: Government provides loans for children to get the education, work study, and Stanford loans that help pay for college.
B. If a child fails a class the loans, scholarships and other funds may not come into effect next semester. Because college is getting expensive and the government is pretty much playing for most of the countries tuition. They will take it away from children who seem to fail classes and show no interest in school.
V. Third Paragraph
A. In the end when you fail a class in college it ends up affecting the student the most. We work so hard to get into a college and then when we get here to see an F on a paper or exam it can make the student feel down and not wanting to be here.
a. Give Examples: such as a midterm or final exam.
b. Missing classes can affect a student’s grades
c. Not doing homework
VI. Conclusion
A. Rewrite my thesis statement with the added facts.
a. Parents are losing an investment that took them 18 years to build for their child.
b. Government with a student failing a class they are losing money that could be used on a child that may not have the same opportunity as the other students who are getting the opportunity, but are wasting it
c. Student is just hurting themselves because they went through the whole college process and are failing on their own accord.

Posted by: Folarinle F. at October 13, 2008 12:48 PM

Topic: Why am i interested in the particular career of baseball

I Intro
A. theis:Major League baseball is a career i am particularly intersted in.

II Example
A. Get paid to do what u love.

III Example
A. The career of baseball is very diverse and life experiencing.

IV Example
A. Being a pitcher gives you a better chance of getting in.

V. Conclusion
A. This baseball career gives you a celeb type of life.

Posted by: Christian Tejada at October 13, 2008 08:09 PM

Nonmaterial Happiness: Yes, there is such a thing
I. Introductory Paragraph
o Get readers attention
o Thesis Statement
o A misconception that many have is that money creates happiness; many can explain how in some cases money can ruin relationships with close ones.
o Every day we run into nonmaterial situations that give us a feeling of enlightenment. Although we may believe that material things make us happy when the day is over, love overrules it all.
Transition Through many explanations you can see how much the ones close to us can make us happy.
II. Explanation #1 Losses
• When we lose someone close in our life it hurts a lot more than losing a materialistic possession.
Transition Although losing hurts, having too many material possessions can ruin relationships.

III. Explanation #2 Dependability
• When one needs moral support and enlightenment only nonmaterial things can provide us with that kind of help.
Transition Without support from the people close to us we would have trouble making it from day to day.
IV. Explanation #3 Love
• Day in and day out when it comes down to it, nothing makes us happier than that significant other.
Transition Although material things may seem to engulf most of our time up, the nonmaterial things fulfill our needs of happiness.

V. Concluding Paragraph
• After looking over the explanations of how nonmaterial objects can cause us more happiness than materialistic objects one can see why we need to respect and love those close to us.

Posted by: Ron Carlson at October 13, 2008 10:10 PM

Michael Hewlett
Academic Writing English 121
October 10, 2008
Thesis Statement
=Educators have the ability to help give a child a successful future, and sometimes will need to be a little strict to give a student the extra boost to want to succeed.
I. Introduction
A. Teachers are paid to teach students and help them get a successful future; some students stop caring and need the help from a strict teacher.
B. Reasons Why Educators Need to be Strict
1. To push students to try harder when they stop caring about school.
2. To prepare students for what lies ahead of them as they get older.
3. To show students that there are consequences for what they are doing or for what they will do.
II. Reason 1
A. To show students that there are consequences for what they are doing or for what they will do.
B. For example, if a student doesn’t do their work they get a zero or in high school they get a zero and a detention. Also is student is acting inappropriately such as fighting or being disrespectful to a teacher, the student can be suspended. Getting punished shows people that there are consequences for everyone’s mistakes.
C. I think students don’t understand their mistakes until they are punished, so they realize that there are consequences for the actions that occurred.
III. Reason 2
A. To prepare students for what lies ahead of them as they get older.
B. For instance, when students become an adult then they are going to need to get a job and their bosses will probably be strict. So if a teacher is strict to a student it can get them ready for a future job.
C. I think it does prepare someone for a job, because it shows that life doesn’t get easier just because u graduate from high school or college.
IV. Reason 3
A. To push students to try harder when they stop caring about school.
B. As I recall, when I was a student Stopped handing in homework, almost failed a class, or gave a teacher a bad attitude which could be a sign of a student who could care less about school. But if a teacher is strict to a student then the student might try harder to get through school. This is what happened to me in high school.
C. That makes me feel like teachers actually care about a child’s future.
V. Conclusion
A. There is nothing wrong when a teacher is strict to students, a strict teacher pushes a student to do better even when they don’t want to or don’t think they can.

Posted by: Michael Hewlett at October 13, 2008 11:00 PM

An educator that has made an impact on my life
- Senior year of High School
- Spanish
- Ms. K
- Passion
- Knowledge
- Relatability

- Cares about students
- Teaching Style
- Facial and Emotional Expression

- Studied abroad
- Fluent in Spanish
- Pushed students to be thier best

- Understood senioritis
- Wanted the best for the student
- Available all hours
- Easy to talk to

- Better person because of Ms. K
- Passion
- Knowledge
- Availabilty
- Closing thought

Posted by: Mai, Kelcee M at October 13, 2008 11:09 PM

Thesis Statement- My chosen academic major is very important in determining how happy and successful I will be in the remainder of my life.

I. Intro paragraph
A. Thesis Statement

II. Get a job doing something that I love
A. After getting a degree in that specific field that I wanted to study, I can get a job doing something that I love and that I can do for the rest of my life.
B. I won’t think of it as going to work but going to do a hobby.

III. I will have more knowledge in my field of study once I start my career
A. I will start out working in a higher position and I will be higher up in the ranks.
B. I will have a shorter path to take to become on top of the business and be the head athletic trainer.
IV. I will be making lots of money
A. Working in any medical fields like this brings in a lot of money
B. Ill become a head athletic trainer of a collegiate or professional team.
V. Conclusion
A. My chosen academic major is very important in determining what I will do in life, how happy I will be, how fast I will move up in the ranks, and how much money I will be making.

Zachary West
Academic Writing 121 sec 14
Monday, October 13, 2008

Posted by: Zachary West at October 13, 2008 11:49 PM

Allyn Tuff
English 121 CA 14
Dr Hobbs
Thesis:Explaining the consequences if I were to not take college Seriously.
I. Introduction
A. College is for learning.
B. If not taken seriously, it is a waste of money, and time.
C. Explaining the consequences of me not taking college seriously
II. Lose respect from parents
A. Effects the relationships when I go home for holidays.
B. They lose confidence in me
C. They arent willing to help me when I need help financially.
III. Not trained for the real world
A. I have less of a chance getting good money
B. I would not get promotions
C. I have more a chance of getting fired for not knowing what I'm doing.
IV. I pay money for college
A. I would be wasting money
B. I would lose scholarships
C. I would have to take out more loans and fall into dept.
V. Conclusion
A. Dangers of not taking seriously
B. Restate the thesis
C. If avoid these consequences I will have taken college seriously

Posted by: Allyn Tuff at October 14, 2008 12:27 AM

Drew Bronnenberg
English 121.14
14 October 2008
If I were to be any animal, I would be a dolphin, because they are smart, playful, competitive, responsible, and they live in the water. I have seen many dolphins and have swum with them many times. They are one of the smartest creatures on Earth, and still know how to have a good time. They can be very competitive if they want, and they always strive to be the best. If they see other animals in trouble they have been known to help.
I) Intro
A) Thesis
1) If I were to be any animal, I would be a dolphin, because they are smart, playful, competitive, responsible, and they live in the water.
II) 1st body paragraph
A) Topic sentence
1) I would want to be a dolphin because they are one of the most intelligent and intiletual creatures on Earth
B) Support
1) They’re ability to learn
a) Tricks
b) Situations
c) Identification
2) They can react to different situations
III) 2nd Body paragraph
A) Topic sentence
1) Dolphins as well as myself are very playful, and often pull pranks on their peers.
B) Support
1) Dolphins play jokes
2) Dolphins play at Sea world like they do in real life
IV) 3rd body paragraph
A) Topic sentence
1) Dolphins are very competitive in nature and have lots of compitions and
2) races with their peers, I too also love competiting
B) Support
1) Races
2) Mates
3) To be the best
V) 4th body paragraph
A) Topic sentence
1) Dolphins spend their entire lives in the water, and absolutely love the water.
B) Support
1) Swimming
2) Surfing
3) Beach
4) Work
VI) Conclusion
A) Concluding sentence
1) Because dolphins are so playful, competitive, smart and spend their entire lives in the water, if I was to choose and animal to be, I would pick a dolphin for all those reasons.
B) Recap
1) Playful
2) Smart
3) Competitive
4) water

Posted by: Drew Bronnenberg at October 14, 2008 08:53 AM

Olivia Combs
English 121.14
14 October, 2008
Stressing Over College
Of the many stressors in a person’s lifetime, the college experience can most certainly be placed high on the list.
I Intro:
Going to college is a dream for most parents, and a goal for most students. New people, challenging classes, and a campus lifestyle are all things to look forward to when starting college. However, there is more in store for the college-bound student than just these few things, and many of them can be quite stressful. Of the many stressors in a person’s lifetime, the college experience can most certainly be placed high on that list. The most common stressors are the transition from home to a dorm room, the hectic lifestyle of a commuter, and the amount of homework to fit into a busy college student’s schedule. All of these stressors can be oppressed over time, but despite efforts, these stressors can never completely go away.
II Paragraph I: Transition from home to dorm
A. Being used to family
1. You move far away from your family and friends
B. New environment
1. Your dorm room is likely smaller than your room at home
C. Roommate Problems
1. Your roommate may be a nuisance

III Paragraph II: Hectic lifestyle of the college commuter
A. Less involved with school
1. More difficult to join sororities and fraternities
2. Harder to play a part in student government
B. Spending more money on gas and food
1. The amount of gas needed to get from home to school
2. Amount of money needed to feed one’s self
a. At St Leo, there is an unlimited meal plan that commuters do not get
C. Commuters usually have a job on the side, which provides less time to do homework
IV Paragraph III: Amount of homework
A. All teachers assign homework nearly every night
B. Only not a problem when a student doesn’t have every single class every single day
V Conclusion:
Throughout the generations, going to college has always been an exciting but stressful adventure. Of all the events in a person’s life, college could be classified as one of the leading stressors. The people to meet, the lifestyle of commuters and the amount of assigned work are all little things in college the can make it the best four years of a one’s life.

Posted by: Olivia Combs at October 14, 2008 08:54 AM

Raymond Ferrara
Dr. B. Lee Hobbs English 121 section 14

I. Intro
A. problems when failing out of college
B. The hardships of failing out of college
II. Body 1
A. lose out on an education
B. not education on the career you want
C. Having less options

III. Body 2
A. more likely to do wrong throughout life
B. not motivated to be successful
C. don’t have skills needed to prosper
IV. Body 3
A. Family members being disappointed
B. Being unsatisfied with one’s self
C. Living in unbearable conditions

V. Conclusion
A. Generalization of effects of doing poorly in school

Posted by: Raymond Ferrara at October 14, 2008 09:11 AM

My current topic is the following:
Explain/Inform your audience why so many college students are materialists.

I. Thesis: College students are materialists because of the era they have grown up in due to the fact that people are very self conscious and believe that they have to be the best around others.

II. The New Era.
A. New Era of younger people.
B. Materialism in products and clothing
C. People believe it's important to be the best when it comes to material products.

III. Self Consciousness.
A. Teens can be self-conscious about how people view them.
B. Materialism promotes confidence to some.
C. Material Barrier.

IV. Companies and Advertising.
A. Teens feel its important to be wearing/using the best.
B. Feel they are behing the loop if not.

V. Conclusion.
A. Teens and college students are worried about MAterialism because they feel it defines who they are.

Posted by: Nick Castellano at October 14, 2008 09:29 AM

Thesis: Why living in Garden Level Synder is better than living in the other three floors
I. Garden Level Synder
A.Bigger Rooms
II. Less Girls on Floor
A.Not overwhelming
B. Not as noisy
III. Own Bathroom
A. Not having to share a bathroom with 20 different girls
B. Not having to wear flip flops in the shower
IV. Special Bonds with the Girls Sharing a Bathroom With
A. Knowing that they can let you into your room if you get locked out
B. Learning different styles and techniques
C. Almost like having three different roommates
V. These are just a few reasons that I think Garden Level is a much more comfortable environment to live in

Brianna Bilbao
October 14, 2008
English 121

Posted by: Brianna B. at October 14, 2008 11:10 AM

Thesis: The lives of college students are very stressful.

I. Academics

1. Grades

2. GPA

3. Studying/Assignments

II. Time Management

1. Homework/Studying



4. Parties

5. Events

III. Finances

A. Price

1. College

2. Textbooks


4. Dorm

5. Food

B. Payment

1. Scholarships

2. Jobs

3. Parents

IV. Relationships

A. People

1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend

2. Roommate

3. Peers

B. Problems

1. Breakups

2. Roommate issues

3. Peer pressure

Posted by: Susan McMillan at October 14, 2008 11:11 AM

Virginia Marsh
Dr. Hobbs
Eng 121, CA16
Oct, 13, 08
I. If people do not take college seriously then they will not do well and end up not being able to fulfill the dreams in their life until they start to take it more seriously.
A. Some things in life are very important and they are needed to get everyone ready for the next stages of their lives, college is one of those important things.
B. To do well in college is a jumpstart into doing well in someone’s career.
C. College teaches people the things that they need to know in order to do the things that they love enough to build a future on.
D. To not take college as a very serious part of development and life learning experience is to hold oneself back in life.
II. College is a very important stage in everyone’s life and helps them to prepare for the next stages of their lives.
A. People learn what it is they want to do as well as how to do it.
B. There are experts in just about every field of work that anyone could want in just about every college.
C. College teaches you people to be responsible for their self and their work there isn’t going to be someone there to holding anyone’s hand and make sure they do something it’s all up to that person.
D. College is a learning experience and is a very important part of everyone’s lives that choose to take part in it, enjoy it, and respect it and the experience.
III. Doing well in college is a jump forward to doing well in any chosen career.
A. It teaches and informs all the things that one needs to know in order to do well in their field.
B. It gives people the techniques they need to be able to function and be ready for whatever their jobs throw at them.
C. It prepares us to handle all the things no matter how many in an orderly unstressed fashion.
D. College gives us the things we need to be successful and happy in our careers and in our lives.
IV. College teaches us the things that we need to know in order to be successful.
A. It isn’t a bunch of useless information anymore, it’s the stuff that we need in order to be successful.
B. It informs us of what we need to be informed of and helps us to accomplish our goals.
C. The skills that we need in order to function at a fast paced job are instilled in us even when we aren’t aware of it.
a. Handling heavy class loads and homework.
b. Getting things in on a deadline with no excuses.
c. Learning how to juggle friends and going out with staying in and doing homework and studying. It’s kind of like juggling work and home life.
D. In order to be as successful as one can be it is very useful to have the college experience to help you out.
V. If one is lucky enough to attend a college then they should not be taking in lightly. College prepares us for the hardships ahead in work and in life.
A. College is a stage in life just like all the others but it is a very useful stage that should be taken seriously because it is going to help you in the long run.
B. Doing well in college is just preparing you to do well in the field of work that you want to peruse.
C. College teaches us all the basic skills and things that we need to know in order to be successful in work and in life.
D. College is a very important part of life a stepping stone that prepares us for the rest of our lives and it should always be taken very seriously, because some don’t get to have the experience.

Posted by: Virginia, M at October 14, 2008 11:14 AM

I. Being the first in my family to go to college puts a lot of pressure on me.
A. everyone says how they're proud and wants you to do your best.
B. The pressure can be great motivation to do well
C. Setting an example for younger members of my family
D. My parents worked hard to put me through private school.
II. I want to do the ultimate best that I can
A. I want to put school before everything else
B. work extra hard to keep my grades up
C. It will get me used to work ethic I need for my career.
III. Setting examples for younger members of my family
A. if they see someone go they'll be more likely to want to go
B. I want my nieces to be able to go
C. If they wanted to go to the same school it would be easier.
VI. breaking away
A. come from working class family
B. private school
went out of state
V. why it's so important to me
A. accomplished
B. hard work pays off
C. start new traditions
D. means so much to me.

Posted by: Ashlea Zantene at October 14, 2008 12:40 PM

Thesis- Applying a curfew to the dorms will eventually cause a rebellious backlash, resulting in more rules being broken.

Topic Sentence 1- People would rather sneak out than stay in.

Topic Sentenece 2- The people that are in the dorms are supposed to be grown adults and make decisions for themselves.

Topic Sentence 3- A curfew may make life harder for some students.

Posted by: Chris Collier at October 14, 2008 12:47 PM

Growing up, parents supply their children with all their necessary basic needs. Due to the fact that college kids are new to life on their own, parents are no longer there to support them with all of these needs. This leaves them with limited incoming revenue, forcing them to not be materialistic. Having to support themselves for probably the first time in their lives, college kids are forced to make many changes economically. They set out to get jobs, and are now forced to put their money to different uses. Their money is not only focused on basic needs, but now doing such things as going out to dinner or a movie with friends becomes a privilege due to money situations.

• Growing up parents support their children
o Allowed extra spending money
o Parents paid for basic needs
o Children always have someone to depend on financially
• Children become independent walking into college
o Parents no longer support their children financially
o Children must now fend for themselves
o Children have to supply their own basic needs
• Children must find a way to pay for basic needs
o Must get a job
o Must focus their money for different uses
o Find ways to help themselves, such as financial aid
• Ways that college students would manage their money
o Set money aside every week for social purposes
o Set money aside for basic needs
o Keeping track of the money you spend and the money you have

Posted by: Mallory M at October 14, 2008 01:52 PM


*NOTE* The deadline for this particular assignment has now passed. Any comments listed below are *ONLY* for the reposting of comments that I specifically asked to be revised or are ones from non-student posters. Any 'student' posts below that missed the assignment deadline will not get credit for the assignment. ~ Dr. Hobbs

Posted by: Dr. Hobbs at October 18, 2008 09:14 AM

Allyn Tuff
English 121 CA 14
Thesis: Classify different kinds of cliques at Golden Gate High School.
I. Introduction
A. There are three main types of cliques at Golden Gate High school
B. Jocks, Studiers, Partiers
C. I’m going to classify these different subjects.
II. Jocks
A. Dress a certain way
B. Have an arrogant attitude
C. Very confident
III. Studiers
A. Typically quiet
B. Humble
C. Good friends
IV. Partiers
A. Outgoing
B. Loud
C. Ruthless

V. Conclusion
A. High School is usually when people try different things out.
B. They switch from group to group
C. Thesis

Posted by: Allyn Tuff at October 22, 2008 04:51 PM

Allyn Tuff
Dr. Hobbs
English 121 CA 14
A Verb has to agree with its subject. The reason why this statement of “Verbs has to agree with their subjects” is funny is because the word “Has” does not agree with the subject “Verbs.” The word “Has” would be used for a singular word such as “He” or “She”. The right way for this statement to be pronounced is “Verbs have to agree with their subject.” I got my information from the website http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/eslsubverb.html.

Posted by: Allyn Tuff at October 28, 2008 11:06 AM

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